I am Joe Blog’s Left Ventricle

Aldi have opened a new store just two blocks from here now.

Free parking, rapid self service and very very cheap food and consumables, some of it good, some of it bad. You try it all and don’t come back from the bad. We went right through the whole place and did our usual bi-weekly shop in about 20 minutes, through the checkouts with a nearly overflowing trolley in less time than a handbasket would take at one of the ripoff stores, and it cost $180. I spent $90 on dinner last night, I can handle $90 a week on food.

I bet safeway and coles drop their prices in this suburb real soon now… oh and the IGA too.

Suck it up fuckwads, your little St Kilda oligopoly is over.

“LET GO OF ME YOU FUCKING BASTARD” he screams, flailing and kicking. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.

I don’t let go.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

He flails and looks up at me. He’s like a younger version of myself I guess. Then he looks down at his feet.

There’s nothing down there. Just miles and miles of chasm to fall into, and the only thing stopping him is the two hands he’s trying to claw off him. He looks back up, now pale and terrified.

I answer: “Not letting go.”