Wanker Bread
January 22nd, 2006 by jamSun January 22, 2006
Wanker Bread
(Sidles up to you slowly with his walking frame) When I was young, bread came with preservatives. There were a few brands, and they all made basically the same shit. It was bread. You could buy white, brown, or multigrain.
These brands have disappeared.
In their place, we have “gourmet” or “boutique” breads, which contain no preservatives because it wouldn’t be politically correct to do so. And, I suppose, because chemicals cost money, and when you’re merely overcharging for your “gourmet” bread by a factor of two, who can afford 10c a loaf on chemicals?
What the fuck? Now any bread you buy goes stale within 24 hours. Hell, if you buy it at 10pm at night it smells off when you get it home. Fit for toasting only after two days. It costs more, and it doesn’t taste any better to me. Oh and it comes in wanky shapes and sizes that don’t fit in the fucking toaster, because of course nobody would want to put “gourmet” bread into the toaster. We all like the flavour of that mould on our tongues.
As soon as portallus can do surveys, I should post one about this. I want to know if people actually want this shit, or if supermarkets are just forcing it on us because they can.
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